Open Letter to Kostunica

Prime Minister Vojislav Kostunica
Belgrade, 11 Nemanjina St.
Serbia

Your Excellency,

I recently read a blog post from one Good Reverend disproving the hitherto assumed true statement "every time you masturbate, Allah kills a kitten." As much as I am happy to learn of this, I am also saddened. If masturbations are not to blame, then there is only one other explanation for the large number of kittens being found dead. Every time Your Excellency mentions something to the effect "international law" and "Kosovo-Metohija is part of Serbia" in the same sentence, Allah must be killing a kitten. Terrified, I urge you - I beg you - to be more mindful of the poor kittens when you make such irresponsible statements. Kittens have done nothing to deserve this kind of death.

Sincerely,
Your Fan
Warchild