Dear EU

 

Dear European Union:

I see you still want to help. Numbers mentioned in the media are at the level of 1.5 billion euros and 2,000 personnel over the next three years. That's all good. Humbled and grateful of your generosity, I have a few suggestions on how to make your colorful money go farther instead of ending up where your started. At the end both of us should be happier. I don't pretend to have the answers, but I can raise the questions which your technocrats should answer. I assume we're dealing with technocrats, because Kosovo is full of other types.

We'll start with the people first. Please run background checks on people you send down to Kosovo. Today Google is your best friend. Start there. Next on move to databases like Lexis Nexis. Also, please call up the references listed on the resumes (once again, I assume there is such a field on the application) to make sure that the resumes are genuine. Obviously, the level of background checks should correlate with the level of responsibility those persons will take up in Kosovo.  

Kosovo may have the image of being somewhat troublesome and conflictual, which will scare some of your people. Make sure to provide crime and other statistics to remove any fears and prejudices your potential candidate pool may have. Have your people visit Kosovo for one weekend and see for themselves. Kosovo is not heaven, as it does not have continuous water and electricity. But hey, it's not a war zone either. And when it comes to water and electricity, as the Irish found out in New York (not only streets were not paved in gold, they were not paved at all), consider it as an opportunity for your technocrats to make a difference by helping fix them.

Consider the time these people will be spending in Kosovo. You don't want rotations happening too often or otherwise we'd be dealing with tourists.

Consider basing your offices across Kosovo, when that is possible. This will not only keep your technocrats closer to the people (Mao and Pol Pot would be proud of this suggestion) but also spread your colorful money across the relatively poorer smallville Kosovo. Pristina is already very crowded. One thousand of your people living in Pristina will price out many of my student friends who can barely make it to pay rent. Life in the small towns should be quieter and cheaper for your people as well, minus the clubbing scene.

What kind of people should you send down? Open minded and patient. They should be somewhat idealists, and since they also should be experts, my vote will go to the older crowd. Try to avoid soldiers of fortune, they are up to no good. When possible, encourage your technocrats to bring their wives over (Kosovo, being culturally Muslim, is not Thailand). Kosovo has good air links with London, Vienna, Zurich, and much of Germany. Skopje Airport is just 70 km away with other destinations.

I know you will follow my advice and google your people first. But just in case, please, please, please, stay away from Gerhard Fischer, Gavin Jeffrey, Ioan Woollet, and Jo Trutschler. They are crooks and have already robbed people of Kosovo and UN once. Unfortunately, only the last one has been prosecuted. This kind of record demoralizes my own people, who look up to your guys as the standard for which we hold our own. To avoid crooks at the helm of your mission, start by making it clear that even in Kosovo your technocrats will be held to the same standards as in Brussels (not asking much, eh?). Fat compensations, as was the case above, will not make your people corruption-proof.      

Send team leaders, coaches and advisors. As long as they are not intentional, let local leaders make mistakes. That's the only way you can build capacities. This makes me wonder why do you need to send 1,500 of your own? You'll get more bang for the buck from the bright locals, either in Kosovo or currently studying or working abroad. Individually, people from the area are quite good. As a team, not so much.

Above I qualified "idealists." Now I will reverse it by asking for practical people. Kosovo is the land of absurdities. It will amaze you every day. If at the first interview you notice any hint of confidence on the interviewee, send him/her packing. You don't want that person to be disillusioned later in Kosovo.

Be mindful of the dynamics created when your translators get paid more than the local doctors and university professors.

Have your people read Peace at Any Price: How the World Failed Kosovo.

(To be continued)

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